Guest Posts, Relationships

How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No

by Olivia

[Guest Post]

Hi there, my name is Pooja and I have a blog called lifesfinewhine. Olivia and I have collaborated on this post and it has been such a fun experience. We really hope you enjoyed reading our posts as much as we enjoyed creating them for you guys. This was a topic we decided to discuss because we realised that many of us struggle with saying no even when we really don’t want or need to. It’s difficult to say no for many reasons but it is also vital to say no when we have to. Here are my five tips on how to say no and to read Olivia’s five tips head on over to my blog. 

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

When you start doing something even it feels uncomfortable at first and you may even want to stop in order to escape this uncomfortable feeling. However, when it comes to saying no you should try to fake it till you make it. And by that I mean try to say no in a confident manner even if you feel nervous, anxious or uncomfortable. Over time saying no will become a habit and it will get easier and easier for you to say no even in uncomfortable situations. 

YOU CAN’T CONTROL OTHERS

A big part of why saying no is so scary or uncomfortable is because we are afraid of how the other person/people will react to us saying no. We sometimes get so preoccupied worrying about their reaction and making others comfortable that we forget to prioritise ourselves. It’s a mixture of societal pressure to please others and the negativity associated with prioritising yourself- unfortunately it is sometimes seen as selfish behaviour even though it is obviously not. However, it’s important to remember that it is not your responsibility to please everyone. How they react to you saying no is their problem not yours and frankly if someone can’t take no for an answer it says much more about them than it does about you. 

PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT

Like with everything else when it comes to saying no practice really makes perfect. Once you start saying no it does get a lot easier to say it because you have more experience with saying no. You also have more experience with how people react and therefore you will be better equipped to deal with the reaction of the person you are saying no to. So just keep saying no when you need to and eventually you will get really good at it. 

MEDITATE ON IT

Personally I have found meditation to be extremely helpful with saying no. You may be wondering what meditation has to do with saying no so I’ll explain a bit more. Well meditation allows you to stay calm and in control of situations. And as discussed earlier saying no can be difficult because the situation may go south really fast if the person gets angry or irritated by you saying no. This way you can say no and also calmly talk to the person without it turning into a heated argument. This will take some of the anxiety that often comes along with saying no and you will be much more comfortable standing your ground as you will know how to handle most situations. 

PLAN THE “NO”

I hope you enjoyed those five tips and if you did make sure to head over to my blog and check out five more tips from Olivia on how to stop saying yes when you want to say no. Thanks for reading the post!

Planning things ahead of time is always a good idea. Although you may not always be able to plan when you want to say no as some situations can be spontaneous there are certain situation that you can plan for. That way go through all the scenarios in your head- event the scary and anxiety inducing ones. It may seem scary when you imagine it but this will help you be prepared for any situation that may arise and these situations will be less scary when they actually happen in real life because you will have practiced for them in your head. As mentioned above one of the scariest parts of saying no is the persons reaction but this will help you feel a bit more comfortable and prepared about any reaction they may have thus making it easier to say no. 

Do you find it hard saying no to people? Do you have any tips you can share with us?

You Might Also Like…

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My Top 5 Stress Management Tips

*The amazing feature image on this post is from Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash*

45 thoughts on “How to Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No”

  3. Because I don’t know how the person will react is a struggle for me to say no, but like this post stated you cannot please everyone and you cannot control other people. I’m so glad you and Pooja collaborated on this post! I love both of your pages 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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      1. Yeah you are absolutely correct. If you wanna say no and instead you said yes, it can also lead to breaking of trust and I have gone through that. So I feel even if it hurts a little , say no. Anyways great post. 😊🥰

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome collab! I always say yes to people when I want to say no, because I just can’t hurt anyone with what I have to say but still now I realize that I should do what’s comfortable for me (even though it’s gonna be a teeny bit hard), thanks so much for this! xx

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