Mental Health

Letting Go of Whats Not Meant For You

by Olivia

Letting go and holding onto things that are not longer for us, can be draining emotionally and physically. I’ve been through this so many times when it comes to friendships, relationships, job promotions, you name it. Its funny because we often realise and know its no longer for us, yet we hold onto it with everything we have inside of us. We try to make it work, because we think it’s what is meant for us. When reality is, if everything around is you telling you it’s not for you. Then it’s probably not for you. I don’t know what it is that you’re holding onto, but I am right there with you.

It’s funny because when I go back and look at previous blog posts, I see stories of different times in my life. You wouldn’t ever know that as a reader. But actually my blog posts are somewhat a diary of events that have happened in my life. And this post is no different. For so many years I feel like I’ve held onto people, hopes and dreams that I thought would pan out the way I intended for them to. And really, holding onto what I knew wouldn’t last did nothing but make it worse for me in the end.

HOLDING ON HURTS YOU

Theres an image I have seen all over the internet, and its an image of a hand holding a piece of rope. The person desperately trying to hold on to whatever is on the other end. And in the image you can see how the rope is cutting into the persons hand, and making them bleed and get sore. Isn’t that such a great analogy of what its like when we try to hold onto things? In the end it actually causes us more damage and hurt than it would have if we just let go.

Remember that, the next time you’re trying to hold onto something you know you need to let go of. It will hurt and cut you more holding onto it, than letting go.

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IT WILL BE HARD, BUT WORTH IT

I think in any situation when you need to let go of something, you have to come to the decision yourself. Nobody else can tell you when the time is right or what you should do. It’s a decision you know you have to make. And it’s up to you to make it. There is nothing more upsetting than seeing a loved one go through something and knowing what they need to do, but them having to decide it themselves.

Change in any sense can be difficult to process. Nobody said it would be easy, but remember I told you it would be worth it.

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IT MIGHT BE THE MAKING OF YOU

How many times in life have you dreaded a new change? Or something being different? And you really wished you could go back to the way it was and have nothing change. But then, once it’s over and the change is done, its actually the best thing thats ever happened to you. I’ll raise my hand, because this has happened so many times to me. It’s usually the fear of letting go that we hate so much as people. The fear of the unknown. And thats what leads us to stay in abusive relationships/friendships or stay holding onto something that no longer has a place in our lives. The freedom and joy you feel after getting rid of the rubbish in your life is worth it, 10 times over.

Change is scary, but anything worth doing in life is scary.

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Do you struggle to let go of things in your life? What advice could you share with us?

I don’t know your individual circumstance. I don’t know what it is you’re holding onto. But remember that holding on so tight to something thats too heavy for you. Will only lead in you being damaged and hurt by it.

Olivia x
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57 thoughts on “Letting Go of Whats Not Meant For You”

  3. Pingback: ReBlogging ‘Letting Go of Whats Not Meant For You’ – Link Below | Relationship Insights by Yernasia Quorelios

  4. What a wonderful and well thought through analysis Olivia, for the necessity to let go of something which so overwhelms (you) with such indescribable pain, that we effectively shut down and can no-longer function normally, irrespective of our awareness of it’s impact on all those around us. I loved the analogy of the hand holding onto the rope, although heaven forbid I should ever find myself as a mountaineer might, of having no choice but to let go.

    Similarly and not entirely unlike with the medically termed “Stockholm Syndrome”, when a victim would necessarily build a superficial bond in desperation for self preservation, our desperate attempt to navigate torn emotions, hamper such progress in essence because of those more memberable and joyous occasions being held onto.

    There has of course to come a time for taking the plunge and as with any precipice, the void can appear insurmountable, when turning back for “one more go” may seem that the rut too can’t be broken but to brake free, to embrace the journey, this decision you must absolutely make alone.

    Although the decision made should be owned, the journey, whether to become lost in a book or on a meandering walk along some canal tow path, each step is an award and a milestone to be embraced because it is absolutely normal to want to feel alive and to live as we conceive how others do.

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  7. Excellent points! During my Gratitude postures this morning, I began thanking the woman who caused my first husband to leave… us—myself and our two children (when our children were 5 and 7). I was surprised that I was thanking HER! I had thanked him years ago (that came years after forgiving him), but never HER.
    I wouldn’t have the beautiful life I have today, had she not lured my then husband away… nor would I have had the words to soothe my daughter when it happened to her in her adult years! WOW!
    I feel utterly FREE! ❤️🦋🌀🙏☯️

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    1. Letting go of that hurt is probably one of the best things you could have done. Holding onto that resentment will only have caused you harm. It’s such an amazing feeling to be free from those things that held us down for such a long time

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  12. I saw this meme or image on the internet of a child gripping an old teddy bear saying, “but i love it so much”
    while God is standing next to them with a bigger teddy bear behind it saying “but i have something far more better for you”
    & that really resonated with me as does this blog post.
    i’ve been treating spring as this time of renewal & letting go of things that no longer serve me & that includes people.

    you are right on the money with this post!

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  16. Totally agree with your thoughts, Olivia. The fear of unknown is really a driving force for many such things we hold onto. Thanks for the deep insight on this critical topic.🤘🏻😄

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  22. I hold onto things that have sentimental value, like things that belonged to my mother, letters from my gran, etc. it hurts to let go of other things like photos from past relationships, etc since they were taken at a happy moment, but I’ve learnt to make space for new memories and new experiences.

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    1. I feel like letting go of physical things and things we cannot touch are perhaps quite different. Sometimes keeping belongings that were from our past is probably a bad idea, but things that bring happy memories of people no longer with us actually help us. Its the grudges, and the hurt people cause us that we need to learn to let go of. In my opinion!

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  24. I love this✨You have captured it beautifully—holding onto the rope while it’s destroying us. And the decision has to be made by the person. I remember trying so hard for someone to understand please let go, I couldn’t process how can they hold onto something so toxic. But I have learned it’s their journey, I can’t force them to let go, they will have to do it by themselves, which as you said will be worth it!

    Thank you for sharing this😘 xx

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  26. My advice is :
    1) react your mind out
    2) letting go means something is actually holding you!
    3) find it and solve it
    4) Always spend little self time with your self

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  30. Change is indeed difficult. The unknown is the scariest part. I guess we have to remind ourselves that just because we don’t know what change letting go will bring, doesn’t mean it’s bad.
    Fear of the unknown is simply the response of our ancient brain trying to protect us from harm. It’s what helped our ancestors survive in a difficult environment. However, now that defense mechanism can keep us from new and exciting adventures.
    Thank you for sharing, Olivia. Your content always has me thinking.

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  31. Its never easy but I am so happy for myself to be able to let go someone who is not meant for me! I believe God has better plans 😊 love your blog! Have a great week ahead.

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