You probably clicked on this post, confused as to why the title says that happiness is not my goal. And no it’s not clickbait. Over the last few months, I have really been doing some soul searching. To discover not only who I am in life and my purpose. But also my why. Why was I placed here on this earth? Why am I in the place I am right now? And honestly, I am trying to still discover my why. But one thing I know for sure, is that my main goal in life is not to be happy.
Happy is a temporary emotion. I don’t think anybody can truly say they find themselves feeling happy all the time. Happiness is a byproduct of something. I am happy when I spend time with those that I love. I am happy when I get paid from my job. But those feelings of happiness are fleeting. They don’t last. And honestly, I am fine with that.
My goal in life is not to be happy, I want to be content in my circumstances. I want to feel joyful and grateful for what I have and the people I have in my life. I want to spread love and care for others. Happiness is very low down on my priority list. But don’t get confused when I say this. That doesn’t mean that I am unhappy or sad. It simply means that I’d rather prioritise other emotions over happiness.
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Often times when you speak with people, they want to know if you’re happy and if you’re okay. And if you say no, they automatically think that something is wrong. But why do we have to be happy all of the time? I wouldn’t want to experience the happiness and joy feeling all of the time. How would I enjoy the moment of happiness if it happened so often? It’s often said that to appreciate the good, you have to experience the bad. And I 100% believe that.
HAPPINESS IS NOT MY GOAL, BUT IT WAS
For years I chase happiness. To feel happy with myself, my body and what I had around me. And it wasn’t until I stopped trying to chase that feeling that I actually really started to become content in myself and my circumstance. I think we forget that there is more to life than just feeling and being happy.
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I also think having an emotion as a goal really isn’t helpful at all. What will happen if I never feel truly happy in every aspect of my life? It will probably lead me to feel like a failure and that I’m doing something wrong.
I think the problem is with the definition of happiness. There is no fixed definition. What I understand from your post is that being content with your circumstances and feeling gratitude is your happiness. Someone else’s might be constant success in the corporate world and climbing that success ladder. Mine is again just being at peace, not constantly running, enjoying the now.
Understanding and acceptance of different people’s definition of happiness – that would put an end o the crazy rat race ongoing in the world. ☺️
I wouldn’t say that contentment and gratitude are my happiness. I see feeling happy as a temporary emotion, and I see feeling content and feeling grateful as a more permanent or re-occuring emotion that I feel. I can feel grateful but not happy, and I can feel content and not happy. We are all so different in how we feel things, and I think thats what makes us all so beautiful in our own way. ☺️
Well, I agree that everyone’s definition happy is different or personal. Gratitude and appreciation can be given with happiness being a separate feeling all together. I can be happy about someone’s appreciation to me. Others can be happy without longing for appreciation.
Honestly, I clicked on this post, glad that someone was speaking my thoughts.
It’s true that no one can feel happy all the time. And I don’t hold happiness as a primary, because people can feel happy from doing things that are not exactly great eg drugs.
It’s good to be happy and content generally, but if you chase it constantly, that can get really stressful.
This is a really really interesting post! I actually had a chat with a friend about whether it is possible to be truly happy. We both agreed that happiness is not something that should be chased, and it isn’t a bad thing if you aren’t happy 100% of the time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Ashish - Proxywords
Being extremely happy is a very temporary feeling. It gives you a temporary satisfaction and it’s at the peak when you get it and the next day you feel sad for a little thing. Rather than having these ups and downs it’s better you have a straight line with a mix of happy and sad portions. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful views in the post! ❤️🤗
Such an interesting post. True, happiness should and is not a goal, its a byproduct but mostly we tend to think, if I am not looking for happiness, I will never be happy. Which is wrong because working towards being happy, wanting to be happy and being happy are three different things.
This is a bit similar to one of the posts I put up last month 🙂. Wow
I guess happiness is on alot of our minds 🙂
Suzanne- Happily Decluttered
It was interesting to read your perspective. I agree that chasing the feeling of happiness can be a bad thing and it can lead to wanting more and more, resulting in never reaching happiness.
However, being happy is one of my main goals but I look at it in a completely different way than how your post describes it. Being happy to me is making the best of each moment and seeing the good. It’s about choosing to stay positive when things aren’t going well. I don’t ignore or suppress when I feel something else but instead, I focus on the silver lining and I don’t dwell on the negativity.
I’m 57. It’s interesting the things that I’ve “figured” out in my 50s. For example, there will never be a time in life when 100% of everything is peachy perfect because that’s not reality. Life is never going to be problem free. It is messy, complicated, and unfair. A whole lot of time it will not make sense. And, I am left stunned at times with the pain and suffering that myself and loved ones have and are experiencing.
So, I take joy in the small things. I list things to be thankful for. I enjoy doing things that bring me joy and that is usually giving back to others in some way. Another words I look to bring joy and love to other people.
There is a release of sorts when I figured out life is not about me after-all. It is about where I am today, in this moment, being responsible for and giving it my best everyday. It is in loving and serving others, especially those who are not able to. It is about being thankful for what I have for today.
This was really eye opening. I feel as if I’m chasing happiness all the time and when I finally get the thing that I thought would bring me happiness, I get disappointed. So I guess I should just enjoy the process, huh?
This is so thoughtful. I always keep chasing things and try to find happiness in materialistic things. It does work out for me, but nothing ever can bring happiness for eternity. I don’t think life would be any good even if it were happy all the time.
Rochelle | Adventuresfromelle
Very true words. Being content with one’s life and feeling fulfilled that you’re living out your intended life’s purpose and goals are way more important, although for some.. that may also be their definition of happiness. 🙂
I agree about happiness.
Very interesting post. Without getting too deep, I think the construct of what we perceive as “happiness” has changed quite a bit in the age of social media and has thus become less attainable. Totally agree with trying to get through the days feeling joyful and content.
You can really get caught up in trying to chase things to make you happy, and because it feels good we want to to experience happiness all of the time but as you say that simply isnt possible. Living in the moment is the most important thing!
Happiness is defined by an individual, you can either design it or break it because life circumstances are always on the lookout to measure your balance of emotional intelligence.
What a thought provoking post. I get what you are saying Olivia. The chase for happiness has more often than not lead to feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction because happiness feels so elusive. I think a more important goal is learning to love yourself and being content with and learning about who you are and why you are here. It’s so strange that I, myself is on this journey of self-discovery. I guess the times we are living in now has prompted a lot of soul searching.
Thanks for sharing.
You’re right, happiness is a temporary feeling and you can’t be happy all the time🌺
I think as we get older happiness becomes more of a emotion for us rather than a goal. i think when we are younger we do the things that we enjoy because we are able to smile and laugh through them. But as reality becomes more present and our lives become less flexible the sooner we realize that happiness is just a reflection of the past. And the more you seek the farther or more difficult it becomes to attain. Though happiness is important, self validity is as well because it creates it.