It’s not often I write about personal things on my blog, but today I thought I’d switch it up and tell you all about how I have found living by myself. For the last 26 years of my life, I have lived in the same home. The same four walls and with the same people. My siblings moved out (I am the youngest) and it was then me and my parents for a while. I always felt so comfortable living where I lived, it was home.
As I got older, I slowly realised it was time to move on and move into my own place. Which makes sense because thats just the natural course of life. You end up wanting your own space. As an anxious person, I always thought the idea of living alone sounded so daunting and scary. And it was at first, but it always felt like something I’d really struggle to do. But actually, it’s been one of the best things I have ever done. And the transition into living alone has been so much easier than I thought.
I wanted to share some of the life lessons I have learnt already from living by myself, and send some encouragement to you if you’re thinking of living alone too!
LIVING BY MYSELF IS NOT AS SCARY AS I THOUGHT
We’ve all seen those scary movies, where the person is at home alone at night and they hear creepy noises and then they get murdered. Well, thats how I felt the first few nights by myself. Of course it was a very irrational fear I had, but it felt very real for a while. I thought I’d spend every night scared of the noises my floor boards made or be worried somebody would try to get into my house. But actually, I don’t even think about it anymore.
My neighbour hood is really safe, and I have locks on all doors and windows. I had to keep reminding myself that I was safe and that my family were super close if I needed them. Anxiety can do so many things to our minds cant it!?
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I REALLY ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY
People have asked me since moving whether I am an introverted person. Im more of an ambivert. I would say that I’m a good mix. I really enjoy spending time with others and I’m quite a sociable and confident person in that aspect, but I also enjoy my time by myself and having down time. When I moved I knew that I would really appreciate the time on my own, and actually I have loved it. I always hated the idea of coming home to an empty house but actually, the peace and quiet is lovely.
At the end of every day and start of every morning all we have is ourselves. We are our constant. And I think enjoying your own company is so important.
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LIFE IS EXPENSIVE
I know I was clearly very naive to think that the world wasn’t expensive, but hello?! Bills, payments and being responsible for a whole house is ALOT. It makes me sad that as kids or teens that were not taught about basic life skills like budgeting money or taught how to pay a water bill. Were thrown in at the deep end when the time comes and we just have to figure it out. I am so thankful I have people around me who can help and guide me, but if you don’t then you really would struggle to learn as you go.
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I’VE GROWN UP
Yes I am 27, but I feel like when you first move out by yourself thats when you really grow up. I feel like a real adult with real responsibility and it’s such a weird feeling. Does anybody else still think they’re 18? I swear once I turned 18 in my mind thats where I still am. Growing up can be scary and daunting but its also so exciting and new and its a new season of life you get to enjoy.
I’ve come to realise how important it is for you to have good people around you in times of life transitions. You really will lean on them when you have no idea what you’re supposed to be doing.
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Living by myself isn’t as scary as I thought! Have you ever lived by yourself? How did you find it? Did you enjoy it?
Of course, its always a learning experience and something that we will all have to get used to at some point. But I feel so thankful I have this opportunity to grow into a new person during this time!
Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey
I loved living by myself! Of course I did get two small doggies (some said to replace my children), does that count? Haha! I loved reading when I wanted to read, going out when I wanted, to wherever and with whomever, and watching whatever I wanted and when too! Why did I get married again?!? Haha! ❤️😉
It’s always interesting to see your journey unfold, Olivia. I started my life away from home when I was 17. Although I went back home for holidays for a few years, I knew that I never wanted to go back. As you said, you really do grow (as opposed to grow up) very quickly. It really did prepare me for later in life and being able to get through a whole range of different situations. However, I also admit that once I was married, my better half has always been far more perceptive re how I need to look after myself and so on!
Wow 17 years old! Thats so young. I could never imaging leaving home at 17!
Congrats on this new chapter! I was thinking on my own life and realized I’ve actually never lived alone. I lived with my parents for 27 years and then moved in with my now fiancé. But even though it’s just the two of us here, I do enjoy my alone time & the freedom of not living at my childhood home. I def think this chapter of our lives are ones that truly help us grow as individuals. And believe me, adulting is hard. Just how expensive groceries are still blows my mind to this day.
Its always shocked me how expensive groceries are in the US compared to here in the UK. Even for fresh produce there its almost triple the price! I wonder why its so expensive there!
I lived alone at university, which is not the same but there are still some of the same lessons you learn from living in your own flat/house. One lesson I learnt is the importance of taking responsibility for your own things, as when you live alone, your parents won’t do your cooking, laundry etc