How Not to Lose Yourself in a Relationship

A Relationship. It’s a funny old thing, isn’t it? One minute you’re single, enjoying a sneaky late-night kebab after a night out, and the next, you’re in a relationship, deciding whose family you’ll spend Christmas with. But as lovely as being all coupled-up can be, it’s vital to remember who you are. So, pop the kettle on, grab a biscuit, and let’s discuss how not to get so wrapped up in your other half that you forget yourself.

This is a contributed post.

MAINTAIN YOUR OWN INTERESTS

Remember when you used to attend those pottery classes or that yoga group on Tuesdays? Keep at it! Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean you have to ditch your passions. Plus, you’ll have more to chat about at dinner beyond, “How was your day?”

HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS

Yes, spending every weekend with your partner binge-watching the latest series is fabulous. But don’t forget your pals. Arrange a catch-up, have a laugh, and remember the joys of friendship. Who else will recall that time you wore socks with sandals?

FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

While sharing a cheeky takeaway is grand, being entirely reliant on your partner for money? Not so much. Whether you have a joint account or separate stashes, ensure you’ve got some dosh that’s purely yours. Financial independence isn’t just smart; it’s empowering!

DON’T FORGET ‘ME’ TIME

A solo trip to the local cafe or a quiet evening with a book can do wonders. It’s not selfish; it’s self-care. Enjoy the pleasure of your own company now and then.

COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE

If something’s bugging you, speak up! Whether it’s about who’s turn it is to do the washing up or something deeper, get it off your chest. Remember, your partner isn’t psychic – at least, we hope not!

SET BOUNDARIES

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be available 24/7. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I need some space right now” or “I’ve got plans this evening.” Setting boundaries is about respecting both yourself and your partner.

DIVE INTO THERAPY FOR CO-DEPENDENCY

Feeling like you can’t breathe without your partner? Finding it hard to make decisions without them? You might be dancing on the edge of co-dependency. There’s no shame in it; many of us have been there. Consider therapy as a brilliant tool to understand and break such patterns. A bit like decluttering your attic, relationship therapy can help you declutter your emotions.

REMEMBER YOUR IDENTITY

Your relationship is just one aspect of who you are. It doesn’t define you. Whether you’re a painter, a baker, a candlestick maker (or just someone who really, really loves a good curry) – don’t forget the unique bits that make you, well, you!

TAKE STOCK NOW AND THEN

Every so often, have a sit-down with yourself. Are you happy? Do you feel fulfilled? Is the relationship adding to your life or stifering your growth? Reflecting can help you keep track and make adjustments as needed.

LEARN TO SAY ‘NO’

It’s a small word but oh-so-powerful. Whether it’s about where to eat or bigger life decisions, remember you have a voice. Use it!

Love’s brilliant. It’s the stuff of sonnets, pop songs, and many a rom-com. But, you know, if you end up losing who you are completely into the relationship, it can store up issues, especially if the relationship doesn’t last, so be mindful of that and love yourself just as much as you love them!

Olivia x 
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