At some point in our lives we have all had a jealous heart. Whether it’s the promotion you should have gotten, or watching someone else live out your dream. We have all experienced that feeling of “that should be me”. Jealousy is a normal emotion to feel but it can get out of hand easily and cause alot of problems if you aren’t careful. Having jealousy in your heart can be really damaging to your mental health, and can often cause issues in relationships.
There have been many times I have noticed in myself jealousy, especially when it comes to seeing someone else living out what I wanted to be doing. I’m not ashamed of admitting my faults. I want to drill it into everyones mind that feeling jealous is normal but shouldn’t be something we let eat us up inside. I overcame those feelings and have such a better outlook at life now. I’ve changed and evolved into a better person because of dealing with those feelings.
So for todays post I thought I’d share some things we can all do when we find jealousy in our hearts.
HEAL YOUR OWN WOUNDS
Often a jealous heart comes from wounds that haven’t healed. Jealousy says alot more about us sometimes than other people. Alot of the time through jealousy we project how we are feeling about ourselves. For example, if you find yourself jealous of someone else due to their looks or their body. It shows you aren’t 100% happy in how you are. It’s time to heal your own wounds, nobody can do that for you.
I understand that not all wounds are the same, some are deeper than others and some may have healed slightly whilst others are fresh. This process can be a long process and what makes it harder is that there is no rule book. Every situation is different. But once you start healing the wounds that have been caused, you will find that those things you’ve been feeling will slowly start to go away.
START THE SELF-LOVE JOURNEY
As I have mentioned already, alot of jealousy can come from a place of insecurity within ourselves. This happens usually when we aren’t 100% happy with who we are. One thing I have tried to do better recently is self-love and self-care. Just the act of showing yourself that you are appreciated and loved can be so healing.
Self-love isn’t always an easy process but its one we should all go through. You learn so much about yourself and are forced to face your anxieties and insecurities head on.
WORK THROUGH YOUR INSECURITIES
Insecurities are one of the biggest reasons you may find yourself jealous of another. If you’re not truly happy with who you are and where you’re at, then it can have effects on other aspects of your life. It’s important that you work through those feelings of insecurity to reduce the feelings of jealousy. Being truly content with who you are will mean that you probably wont get jealous when someone is prettier than you or got that job promotion you wanted.
It can be hard to do this, I know. It might not be quick, it might not be easy but it’s necessary. If you want to be truly happy in who you are then you should take these steps to heal.
Have you ever found yourself jealous of others?
How did you combat your jealous heart?
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Jealous is indeed something we all deal with from time to time. Whenever we believe that we’ve made the wrong decision, we look for someone who made a different choice, and we compare results. Sadly, we only compare things that we believe are somehow “better” than what we experienced, but we never bother to see if other aspects might have worsened. That’s the real danger of jealousy. It provides a false sense of reality if we aren’t careful enough to recognize it.
You’re so right. It really does come down to comparison. And thinking we didn’t do the right thing or we aren’t good enough.
” truly happy with who you are and where you’re at”
Yes, I think that lies at the heart of the problem. Whether you can will yourself into such a state I do not know. Perhaps some people can. Many, I am sure, can not.
I think it’s possible to get yourself into that mindset. Granted it might come and go, but there are many people out there who are whole heartedly happy and content in themselves
There are such people. But mostly you will find that is the way tbey have always been. They have a high hedonic set point. It is more about genes and physiology than volition. You may be interested in David Pearce and his Abolition of Suffering movement.
Very we said!! I feel jealous too like any normal human when I see someone live the life that I always wanted. This post really explains everything about it 👌🏻
It is very normal to feel this way! I hope you are able to overcome those feelings!
“A jealous heart don’t exist
being jealous of anything or value
is a state of mind manifested
in the mind of one
who thinks what others have
is their entitlement.”
I agree, it does have some aspect of entitlement because who says what we want is meant for us?!
Your subject matter is priceless; becuse it isn’t whether you are correct or incorrect, but your subject allows for different responses akin to Water Makes Its Own Level! You are a brilliant writer!
Thank you so much!
And thank you as well!
For sure this is very normal especially when your friend who knows all your business secrets betrays you by opening the same business next to yours without tell you and starts selling more than you.
So sorry to hear that happened.
Nice post! I’m not the jealous type but this will really go a long way in helping others who are going through this.
I really hope so!
Starting the self love journey💕💕💕🙌🏽🙌🏽That heals a lot of wounds.
Very thoughtful post Olivia❤️ xx
Thanks so much love 💛xx
Very well said ! Jealously is an ugly trait in my opinion and nobody should be jealous of anyone because that mindset isn’t healthy and won’t take you very far.
You’re right, it really isn’t a nice mindset! We are to be happy for others
I don’t normally find myself really jealous of anyone but lately I’ve been jealous of people who appear to have a lot of friends. It’s silly but I just wish I could fit in with the crowd sometimes. I’ve done quite well for myself but I’ve never been good at keeping friends. I’ve definitely worked on how I feel about this but it still lingers at times. Nice post, thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can imagine its quite hard. I have a small circle of friends too and its even harder to make new friends as you get older. And not to mention trying to make friends in a pandemic!
When I was in my early twenties I acted out of jealousy with my then boyfriend, now husband. I understood this was destructive behavior and sought out help. I learned to identify when I was having this feeling. Catching yourself having a feeling and then figuring out what the thought was that triggered the feeling. Then I would evaluate the correctness of that thought.
In the beginning I wrote it all down. After a while I could identify the feelings and thoughts as they were occurring and reject them.
That exercise was a good tool to help me with self change and maturity.
I love this! I am so happy that you were able to combat those feelings you were having and use them to grow into a better person👏🏼
So true about jealousy, it says more about you than others. We all have wounds and trauma we need to heal from. Sharing this post on Twitter.
Thanks so much!
I feel the best way to mend jealousy is REVENGE. Jk. Everything you said was completely correct.
Hahaha, I was concerned for a moment 🤣
I enjoyed reading this post, I had met people that have not dealt with jealousy very well and has committed revenge, it’s a sad situation because it shows what state they are in. I have tried helping them by advice and prayers. Thank God that person has matured and has turn to Jesus Christ. I have learned that time and maturity teaches a jealous person to grow out of those feelings. Very nice post Olivia thanks for sharing 🙏🏼
Thank you. Very helpful.
So I ask? Is it right to envy someone than to get jealous? Or does both terms mean the same thing? I actually from my own perspective, I think being jealous is out of insecurity which can lead to hatred. So the term jealousy can be a problem or it’s just a normal word but just how controls it? Or instead of getting jealous rather be envy?
Jealousy and envy to me are the same emotion. But i guess they can come from different places. You can still be jealous/envious of someone but wish them well. And you can be jealous/envious of others and not wish them well. I dont necessarily think either are bad, depends on your emotion behind them