Mental Health

Grief & Losing a Pet

by Olivia

Losing a pet is probably the worst loss I have ever experienced. Before my own dogs passing, I had no idea how it felt. Any other animals I have had in my life have never passed away whilst still being in my family. The last dog I had was given to my auntie because she became too violent with us, so I didn’t know how it felt losing her. But my dog, Honey we had for 14 years. 14 wonderful years of her wagging tail and beaming brown eyes. 14 years of her love and companionship.

Over the last year we saw a gradual change in her behaviour. As any person getting older, the fun became less and less. Her mobility reduced and the weight dropped off her. We probably held onto her for far too long than we should have but can you blame us?! Losing my 4 legged best friend has been something I never thought I would have to go through. I didn’t think about her dying or me having to get used to life without her. I guess I was naive.

The hardest part for me wasn’t the procedure itself. I knew we had to take things into our own hands so she didn’t suffer. The hardest part is knowing that my best friend is now sitting on my shelf in my bedroom. Its like my brain cannot process the fact that she is now in an urn in my house. I’m sure alot of other people who have lost any pet or family member knows what I mean. It will take a while to get used to.

GRIEVING THE LOSS

My dog was my world. Anybody who knows me personally knows how much she really meant to me. Everybody knows I loved her the most. I cant say she loved me the most though because my dad was her number one. I have gone through grief before when I lost my best friend. But this feels different. I spent every single day with my dog. Every single day for 14 years. I went through high school with her, I cried with her, laughed with her. I spent many nights cuddling her to sleep and her doing the same for me. And for that to all be gone in a matter of minutes broke my heart.

All of these losses in life are all life lessons though. All good things must come to an end. And if you’d ask me if I’d go through this again with another dog. HELL YES I WOULD. These months of sadness and heartbreak are worth the 15 years you get with an animal. It’s all worth it to experience the pure love they give. There are no expectations back, they love unconditionally.

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THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY

I sometimes get these moments of feeling like I’m being silly for being so upset about the loss of my dog. But when I think about it, she was as much as a part of my family as me or anybody else. The fact she was an animal doesn’t matter. And if you’ve lost a pet too, you will know what I mean. They look different to us but it doesn’t make them any less of a family member.

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WORKING THROUGH THE EMOTIONS

After losing a pet comes so many different emotions. Depending on how the loss happened, you might go through feelings of guilt, anger and sadness. And they will come and go. I find myself feeling strong and okay about it, then being completely inconsolable. Whenever I go through any periods of grief I always allow myself to feel. Whatever the emotions are, I ride the wave. It’s something my own mom taught me. Pushing away the emotions won’t help you deal with losing a pet or grief in general. It will prolong it and make it worse.

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Have you ever gone through losing a pet? I’d love to hear you’re experiences and what you did to help you feel better.

Olivia x 
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43 thoughts on “Grief & Losing a Pet”

  3. Really feeling for you. Sending all my love! I read this quote the other day that might resonate and be of some comfort.. “Andrew garfield saying ‘I hope this grief stays with me because it’s all the unexpressed love that I didn’t get to tell her’ about his mother’s passing is so gut wrenchingly beautiful because we rarely talk about the love we want to express but can’t, not because you’re not brave enough to say it out loud but because they’re not here to listen to it anymore. Calling grief the love you never had the chance to share makes it less of a burden and more of something you want to keep and not something terrible you want to move on from. In this way, everything about grief comes down to ‘what is grief if not love persevering?”

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  5. My heartfelt condolences to you. I can well empathise with you having one of mine a 4 months back. They are not pets but more of a family member who give unconditional love. The absence will hurt for long . The emotion will take time to subside and finally pass.
    Stay blessed always 🌹🙏🌹

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  6. I’m so very sorry for your loss, Olivia. Pets are truly family members & losing them is so heartbreaking. Sending you so much love & healing. My fiance [ when we were still dating ] lost his family golden retriever, Brandy of 17 years!! It was devastating for both of us because although she wasn’t my own dog, she meant so much to me. And my fiance was so heartbroken. But he is grateful to have shared 17 years with her since that is quite a long time for a dog.

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  7. So sorry for your loss! We lost our Maggie in June and we were completely heartbroken. We welcomed a new puppy to the family late August and she has helped to heal our hearts.

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  9. this happened to me in 2017 omg it is really the worst. i felt like me and my cat were best friends but also mother and daughter, and also sisters lol
    i miss her but as long as we made their time here wonderful, that’s all they care about.

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  12. Thank you for such a timely post. We lost our dog earlier this month and the grieving process has been really rough for us. We had to make the painful decision to put him down as well. His ashes actually came in the mail last week and my husband and I took his urn around to a few of our favorite camping and hiking spots and spread him around, wishing that he’ll help new plants grow. It was nice to do a small ritual and trip to honor him and talk about our favorite memories with him. Thank you again for this post, I’ve been feeling really insecure about my grief and this was really affirming. ❤

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    1. Your grief is just as valid as losing a friend, relative or a partner. Our animals are our lives. They look different to us, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t our family. I’m glad this post helped. Were both going through the same thing💖

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  15. A lovely tribute to your friend. I’ve had two dogs, one who lived for 17 years and another for 16, and they are two of the best friendships I’ve had. I hope to one day have a third to add to them both.

    I know exactly what you’re going through, and it’s hard. But it will settle to happy memories and just the occasional tears.

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  16. I’m so sorry! My miniature Schnauzer, Schotzi, died in early December 2019. The following February of 2020, my cat Noelle died. I knew they were both aging, and I wondered which would pass first. Both of their deaths were incredibly hard. Noelle had been my companion and friend when I had breast cancer. She was with me during the years I cared for my dad. She was with me during the time my son was in the military. She was a quite girl-happy to be nearby and watch me. She literally acted like my little girl. I adopted both pets from the animal shelter. Both were beautiful and wonderful friends and companions. Ironically, Noelle passed at the same spot she used to lay on the floor beside my dad’s reading chair. The very spot. Dad had already been gone for several years when she passed. I will always miss them. I’m all teary-eyed now while I type this. These were very special and particular memories I share with them.

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  18. I’m so sorry I completely understand how you feel🥺. I lost my pet rabbit a few years back and it was so painful but I’m sure it’s nothing compared to what you’re feeling because I also have a dog and even though it’s just 5 years since we’ve had him, I know a day would come when we’d lose him as well and having to think about it just makes me want to cry. Dogs are really precious beings. I hope you feel better soon🤍

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  20. So sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is heart breaking. They are our world and mean so much and they leave a hole in our world. You’ll never forget Honey, she will always be with you. Pets teach us so much about unconditional love. Take care. Xx

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  21. I’m sorry. I have 2 cats I think it would be the end of me without just one. I call them my kids. Out-of-orbit.com. Is my new blog if you like sports check it out. If not please like it and recommend it.

    Sorry for the plug I’m just new. If there is anything I can do or say just give me a yell

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  22. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Honey will always have a special place in your heart. I adore my own dog so much and can’t imagine my life without him. They truly are special beings.

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