Self-Confidence

Me, Myself & Self-doubt

by Olivia

At some point in our lives we have all experienced self-doubt. A time where we have caught ourselves saying ‘I can’t do this‘. It’s normal and natural to go through those feelings at some point in life. Self-doubt is something I have struggled with before and it happens to me periodically. Self-doubt is a feeling of lack of confidence and not feeling like you can do something. A few examples of when you might experience self doubt are when you are going for a job interview, when you meet new people or when you are starting a new hobby. Self-doubt is something that often comes with romantic relationships too.

On occasion self-doubt can really affect bloggers. It makes people delete their blogs and stop writing because they feel like they’re not good enough. This all stems from various things bloggers worry about like stats, comments and followers.

Self-doubt can have a real effect on you and especially your mental health. It’s really not a good feeling and comes from a lack of confidence. It can leave you feeling stuck, as you feel like you’re not good enough to move forward. Today I want to share some ways that we can overcome self-doubt and what we can do to combat those feelings.

OVERCOMING COMPARISON

You have all heard the famous quote that comparison is the thief of joy, and it’s so true. Often we have self-doubt because we see others and think they’re better than us. Everyone is facing their own battles. That person you are comparing yourself too might be feeling the exact same way about you too. It’s important to remember that you are you for a reason. You can’t compare yourself to people you don’t know or even people you do know.

Think of others as ice bergs, you only see a small portion of someones life, the rest is under the water and hidden. Their lives may seem perfect and they might outwardly look like the perfect person but you don’t know what they are dealing with under the surface.

CONFIDENCE

Self-doubt often goes hand in hand with low confidence and it makes sense as to why. If you don’t feel confident in who you are as a person then you wont feel as though you can achieve things. Low confidence can really have a knock on effect on so many other aspects of life. There are so many ways we as people can help to increase our confidence such as positive affirmations, not comparing ourselves to others and self-care just to name a few.

Low confidence doesn’t always mean you’re not confident in every area of life. You could have confidence in your looks but not your abilities and vice versa. It also doesn’t always mean you don’t feel good about yourself. Some of the most beautiful people in the world will have faced low confidence and self-doubt. This goes so far beyond outward appearances.

ACCEPTING INSECURITIES

We all have things we are insecure about, and we need to learn there are insecurities that we might just never overcome. Something that I’m learning is that we shouldn’t let our insecurities stop us from doing the things we want to do, which I know is easier said than done. You don’t know unless you try, and you might find that you’re uncomfortable throughout all of it but what a learning experience. Knowing you got through your biggest insecurity is such an achievement.

Alot of the time its mind over matter when it comes to insecurities. Because you and your mind are the only ones stopping you from doing it.

Have you experienced feelings of self-doubt before?
Have you let low confidence or insecurities stop you from doing something?

Most of the points I have mentioned in this post are such mental battles that we must face. But please remember they are just thoughts and not reality. You are more than your mind tells you that you are.

Olivia x 
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70 thoughts on “Me, Myself & Self-doubt”

  1. Just recently I’ve had a lot of feeling of self doubt. I think it’s stemmed from people whom I’d compared myself to at work and who I’d thought really brought something to the company had been made redundant and I wondered why I’m still there. I can’t get my head round it but I have to take comfort in it, apply your advice and see what the new year brings. Thanks for sharing! I always love your posts x

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    1. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that. Just know that it’s a normal thing to do. I’m constantly comparing myself to others. I know its especially hard in a job too. Perhaps if you feel comfortable then talk to someone there about it. Sometimes talking about it and saying out loud to someone often makes you realise it might not be as big a deal than we thought. I hope you sort it out!

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  4. I love the point about accepting your insecurities —once we do that, we can work towards overcoming self doubt.

    Tbh, most of the time what we think are our insecurities are the traits loved by others and vice versa. It’s all about how we choose to look at it.

    Love this Olivia🧡🧡 xx

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  5. “Self doubt is Normal
    but abnormal when you allow self doubt
    keep your from being successful in what you undertake.”

                               _-Van Prince

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  7. Another great post Olivia. I suffer from self doubt a great deal. Luckily, my confidence has grown some. But that self doubt? Whew! It leads to something else I often struggle with. Imposter syndrome. Every tells you how good you are, but you’re the last to believe it.

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    1. Girl tell me about it. My self confidence increases but my self doubt remains at an all time high sometimes! I think its just one of those things you have to keep working on!

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  9. Thankfully, I’ve overcome insecurities and self-doubt this year than before. 2020, though it has its obvious downsides, has helped me tremendously. Great post, Olivia!

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  11. I think we all deal with self-doubt to some degree throughout our lives. We just need to make sure we are doing something about it or letting the thought pass. Sometimes self-doubt can lead us to improve ourselves and that can be beneficial. It can become destructive if we just repeat the same negative thoughts.

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  13. I love this so much, especially the fact that you mentioned blogging. Being new, its difficult to start and not second guess myself, but I’ve just been going with the flow of my thoughts and ideas when I have them! Thanks for this!

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  14. Excellent write as always, Olivia! I didn’t know I had a low self esteem until one of my teachers told me😂 But yes, self doubt is something that’s been plaguing me for a while. As you said, I think accepting insecurities is a crucial step to overcoming it and being more confident in oneself.

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    1. I’m so grateful you came back! Its hard to not compare yourself to other people online. You just need to be selective and careful in what you consume from social media. Alot of it can be bad for us!

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  20. I have self-doubt at times because I’ve goofed up in the past- usually in the relationship/romance area of my life, but also in becoming self-employed. Hard to have confidence when you’ve made a mess of things in the past, even if we feel like we’ve learned from it. Probably fear that drives it all – fear of getting hurt, fear of going broke. Great post to make you think. Thank-you 🙂

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  21. I think with comparison we have to mind the approach. So are you comparing to be inspired and do better or just to feel sorry for yourself. I think we have to boldly make choices when in these moments because it starts with us. Also our surroundings have an impact. Get some friends who build you up and even if you aren’t doing well in some areas will support you to do better and not bring you down. Great post Olivia

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    1. I think comparison (for me anyway) is comparison to others who I think are better than me, more beautiful, more successful etc. Yes, you can use that as a drive to be better but sometimes it does the opposite. You end up thinking “well I wont ever be good enough, so why am I even trying?”. And thats where alot of the comparison feelings come from.

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  22. Hello Olivia, we’ve just come across your blog and think its great! We also really like the way you’ve written this post.

    We have also just begun our blog adventure and hope you would have time to have a look. We are mental health focused and have some exciting content coming in soon. It would be fab to get some feedback?

    Thanks

    Nick & Lucy

    http://www.2mindstogether.co.uk

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  23. This was a very helpful post! You’ve written everything so perfectly. Just started my blog, I also tried to write on psychology, I learnt a lot from your wonderful writing style.

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  33. Hello 👋 this is an amazing and well taken blog post, i really love it.. Please i just uploaded a new blog post and i would appreciate if you take a look and give som opinion, thank you and merry xmas 🎅 in advance.

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  34. Self doubt has hindered me alot. I am going to be bolder next year 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
    Time does not stop for anyone, self doubt is a timewaster. When that time could be spent more productively. It really is about changing the thought patterns and using positive words not negative ones. I can write all this, but i need to put this into action for myself

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