How to be authentic. I was scrolling through TikTok the other night [as I do most nights] & I came across a video of someone contemplating the idea that if we look at everyone’s lives as individual story books, the characters we are portrayed in said books will look different to each person. We could be the one who got away in one story while we could be the evil villian in another. How we are perceived tends to be different than how we really are. We all wear masks. And this isn’t trying to be some metaphorical pandemic controversial statement. We’ve always been wearing masks. Before, they were just more invisible.
I’m guilty of acting one way around one person & completely different around another, I’m a chameleon of sorts & mold into my surroundings. I would say I’m more shy around strangers than people I’ve known for a while. I’m kind to those who deserve it & rude to those who don’t. I’m outspoken in my writing & private when I speak. My style changes with the seasons & so do my moods. When we have so many versions of ourselves, how do we truly know the definition of being authentic?
TAKE EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF THE EQUATION
I think to get to the route of authenticity, we need to take everyone else out of the equation. At this time we don’t need the opinions of your significant other, your boss, your parents, your friends & even your pet! Lol [ although I do believe the most unconditional love is from your fur babies – but I digress]. To really understand who we are & who we wish to be, we need to reflect simply with ourselves. Me myself & I. If it helps you can stare at your reflection in the mirror while you have this heart to heart. Whatever floats your boat.
At this very moment as you are reading this, ask yourself who you wish to be and how to be authentic. Let go of the judgments & opinions of others & just be with your own thoughts. Personally, I see myself as this outgoing, kind hearted, strong & bad ass woman. Some of you who know me in real life may read this & think, “she’s got it all twisted, that is not her AT ALL.” But this is my point. The characters we play in other people’s stories may 100% look different to your own. If someone calls you shy & introverted for instance & you feel in your heart you aren’t, let those statements roll off your shoulder. If someone looks at your social media & paints these assumptions about you based on the photos & how it may look, those feelings aren’t your truth.
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AUTHENTICITY IS RELATIVE
I asked on Twitter & Instagram the other day to send me assumptions of myself. And let me tell you, the statements were all over the place. Some assume I’m an introvert while others say I’m extroverted. Truth be told, I’m in the middle. Some people said, I’m afraid to get married while others said I can’t wait. The planning process is a lot to take in but I’m very stoked! I was even told I had 11 toes. LOL & no, I do in fact have ten toes but I’m not going to showcase my feet on the internet so assume away!
For just looking at my social media as reference, people come up with the most intricate conclusions like “you tell it like it is even if it upsets people.” To answer your question, I kind of dislike confrontation. I am working on being more blunt & vulnerable. But for the most part, I just like to keep the peace.
The bottom line is, authenticity is relative and it can be quite hard to learn how to be authentic. As long as you feel like your true self in your heart, that’s what should matter. It’s funny because as a blogger & someone who has somewhat of an online presence, I couldn’t believe the assumptions I recieved. I have people who question my commitment to a minimalist lifestyle, I have people who say I’m different online than I am in person. I share a lot more on my blog than with anyone in my real life. While others admire this side of me, other’s question it with rolled eyes. I think we all need to realize, we all wear masks. And that’s not either wrong or right. Sometimes it’s merely situational. We are all just trying to make it in this world & I think we all are doing it beautifully.
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Do you know how to be authentic? What tips or advice do you have? Do you feel as though you wear a mask?
If you liked this post, I’d love it if you stopped by my blog: Mind Beauty Simplicity where I talk about intentional living, self growth & other lifestyle topics to help become your best self. Thank you Olivia for giving me the opportunity to guest post on your blog! It is always an honor, my friend.
Great post, like I’m open in my writing not massively in speaking, I’m introverted when I can’t be arsed or feel uncomfortable but more often than not an extrovert
I am the same really!
Delicate and brutal
Such a fantastic post! Great message and points for everyone!
Thanks for reading friend! Hope you are well!
Absolutely love the way you wrote this, and especially the title! I totally agree – authenticity is relative and you must absolutely go at your own pace to find yourself.
This was actually a guest post written by MindBeautySimplicity 🙂 I will pass on your lovely comment!
Thank you! glad you liked it 😊
This is beautiful…We do all wear masks
Thanks for reading!
A pleasure really.
Thank you Olivia for sharing my guest post with all your readers. I hope they find it inspiring 😊💕
Thanks so much B!
To be authentic does not mean that one has to be outright blunt . Yes, the truth has to be conveyed but there are ways of doing it. Most of the time anyway what we think to be the truth is just our perception of it. The thoughts should be exchanged . Not easy to not worry about opinions but yes one should not get overtly worried about them. Take what matters leaving the rest behind.
Stay blessed always.
yes to this!
Vanya Wryter Consulting
Great message using masks as a metaphor!
Thanks for reading!
As and introvert myself and I suffer from social anxiety it’s hard to go out to parties and be around a lot of people. I find that I have to fake smile sometimes. This blog post is so true about wearing a mask.
I think we all do it, whether we realise it or not!
I’m the same as B, I am a bit of a chameleon! I like the idea of standing in the mirror and just thinking what makes your authentic self – going to try that out 🙂 x
The point about acting different around different people is one I think about a lot, and I don’t think it means you are less authentic at all. I think if you are being true to yourself you will absolutely act differently at different times with different people, authenticity doesn’t mean never changing or staying rigid, we all have up and down days like we all have party friends and evening in friends.
I agree it doesn’t, especially when you do it without realising. I think B more meant when you are faking the person you are around people!
Oh yeah I see what you are saying, it’s just something that’s been on my mind so wanted to share my thoughts. I’m not a fan of being fake but I suppose it’s why that matters, have I faked being happy when depressed sure, do I pretend to be someone I’m not to gain something or take advantage of someone else? No. Humans are complicated creatures.
Paula R.C. Readman
A great piece and plenty of food for thought. I got stuck in a terrible dilemma and the outcome wasn’t good for me. It left me wondering if honesty was the best policy. Do you tell the truth and shame the devil or lie so you spare the other person’s feelings for a while until they find out you haven’t been much of a friend after all because you weren’t a hundred percent honest with them.
In the situation I found myself, I decided to go with my gut feeling and how I would feel if I was in their shoes. Yes, it was a special occasion for them I understood that and what I was about to tell them could have been put right before anyone knew about it, but instead they believed I was just spoiling their moment to shine. They have unfriended me and cut all ties. I’ve decided I will no longer review books of people I know personally. I shall only read books I know I will enjoy. 😢
Two of my favourite bloggers coming together. This post was satisfying to read, I do it all the time. We’re all playing a role, it depends on who our audience is. Great post as always ❤️
Hey Olivia, this post really brings to light a common topic and I applaud you for that. I was even guilty for wearing plenty of different “masks” at one point. But it’s really all about uniqueness and what makes you you.
Love this! Very authentic!😀
Sometimes. In fact my website says stories behind the mask. I think different people bring out different things and we react accordingly.
Authenticity is relative🙌🙌🙌
Best thing I have read all day! We do strive to be someone better than we actually are and the definition of “better” always varies. It’s like this: you never really know yourself until you are forced to like yourself.
As you can see this post has already made me think so thank you for sharing x
Ya we all wear masks! There is an us that nobody actually knows other than us. Masks are not the only one’s that are fake..but also that which modifies our behaviour with other’s. To all my elders I’m a very matured, sensible person..but only a few close buddies know the crazy child like spirit in me🤭
I love this!