To me a private life is a happy life. There are only a select few people I truly let in and know me fully. I have learnt the hard way on this subject because I was the person who was too trusting. I would let anyone in and share everything with them and I’d suffer the consequences afterwards when they’d share information about me to other people. It’s sad when it happens, because when you’re young you are very naive into thinking you could trust everyone, but thats not the case and you figure that out as you get older.
Having a balance between sharing things online and keeping things private is where I have got to, and I’m happy here. Being a blogger I have come to realise that its important even more to have this balance. I have spoken previously about why I decided to separate my private instagram from my blog instagram, and thats because I want to safeguard and protect myself and the people I know.
Putting yourself out there online you are opening yourself up to criticism and some pretty weird people on the other end of the internet. Not everyone has good intentions, so just for that reason it’s important to protect yourself and what you put out there. This post isn’t just about blogging and your online behaviour, it applies to in real life too and how you should take steps to make sure you are protecting you and your information.
On the flip side here I want to mention that its okay and good to share things with genuine, loving people who have your best interests at heart. This post is for those people who aren’t nice, who are negative and discouraging. Save your wins and your good news for the good people in your life!
YOU WON’T BE THE TALK OF THE TOWN
Keeping to yourself means that nobody has anything to say about you to other people. I come from a small town and I’m sure alot of you do too, and from my experience small towns are the worst for people gossiping and spreading other peoples business. By refraining from talking about your problems or your personal life you will reduce the risk of people talking about you to other people. It’s sad to think about, the fact you cant be open with people but it’s the sad fact of todays society.
NOBODY CAN CELEBRATE YOUR FAILURES
I tend to do this alot, but when I know something good is in the pipeline for me I only tend to tell a select few about the exciting up-coming news. All because I know those people will console me and not judge me if it falls through or doesn’t happen. Some people thrive off of others making mistakes and things failing for you, and it’s sad. I remember years ago when I got a new job and I finally left the job I had been at for years. I of course told my colleagues and remember only one or two being truly happy for my move up the career ladder. It really opened my eyes because true friends should be happy for you and your wins. And if they’re not, were they even true friends at all?
YOU AREN’T OPEN TO CRITICISM
Whether its your relationship you’re keeping on the down low or a promotion you just got, I think keeping it to yourself can be beneficial because then you aren’t open to other peoples criticism. I really hate it when people give me their advice when I didn’t ask for it, and when they think they know better. Its not helpful and unsolicited criticism has no place where I didn’t invite it in.
Keeping your business to yourself means that you aren’t clouded by other peoples judgement and it provides you with a clearer head to make decisions yourself. It also stops too many people chiming in on something and overwhelming you with too much advice, and that in itself can be stressful.
How do you keep your private life private? Do you stay off of social media or refrain from sharing your business with everyone?
I hope this post didn’t come across as too negative. I wanted to make sure I got all my points across that keeping yourself to yourself is a great way to stop alot of negativity coming into your life. And I think for alot of us, that is the goal.
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I think social media is great as long as you don’t post about every single thing happening in your life. You should know where to draw the line. I take a lot of inspiration from celebrities that post a lot but you’d still not know what’s really going on in their lives. Eg: Mindy Kaling – she has posted every day this year on IG but no one knew she was pregnant till after she gave birth.
You’re so right, there is for sure a line and you should know where it is. And I can imagine that she did that to stop any negativity or unwarranted advice she might have gotten from people too! Props to her for being able to keep it quiet!
You dropped quite a number of nuggets here. I can totally relate because I have once been so open with all around me that I seemingly gave my peace away and in return was fed criticism that was so bitter and cutting. Confidence can be stolen from you and it’s with purpose one must really identify who their close contacts are. It’s a jungle out here at times.
It’s sad to think really that we can’t share our victories or share personal parts of us with people, but you just don’t know others intentions or what they will do with that information. Which is why it’s important to have people you trust around you. As you said, confidence can be stolen from you otherwise!
Nice Olivia in the globalization world a creed to human beings private is a wondrous time and no contrary to outfits in this world. Take care 🙂
Agreed! Thank you!
Thanks!. A big kiss Olivia…
A Big Girl in a Big City
I couldn’t agree more… I deleted my private social media accounts as I realised it was becoming toxic more than anything. That being said, social media is still useful to generate traffic to your blog so I created accounts (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest) just for my blog. I’m anonymous though, I don’t even mention my real name on my blog. It feels safer that way, I keep my cards close to my chest (and my private life private) x
It’s not so hard to keep your life private. Just don’t share what you do and nobody will know about it. Those, who are upset about their too much public lives, are those who share their private life too much. That’s my idea
Sassy Sassy and Cult Jam
Holy cow this post is so important. I went through the exact same, and suffered so much from the toxic people in my life. I also got a new job and nobody was happy for me, even those I thought were my friends. I don’t consider them friends anymore. This post is exactly why I created an online alias, and won’t let anyone in my real life know about it. Thanks for sharing…
I’m glad that we can sympathise with one another, its hard isn’t it? Peoples actions speak louder than their words.
“A private life is proof that evey body’s business
is nobady’s business
every human being is entitled to their peivate business.”
By: Van Prince
So very true!
LaDonna Remy MSW, LICSW: Perspective on Trauma
I think this is both important and wise🤍.
Thank you! 🤗
Great post. I am very private. I don’t post on personal social media. It is there as a just incase thing. I only use my ba
Lack and white photography pages. Privacy is a good thing. It saves me from worry and aggro.
So very true, it really does. A private life is a happy life!
I didn’t think you sounded negative at all. You provided several gold nuggets of advice.
Thank you! I had this feeling that I was being a negative Nancy, but its reassuring to know I wasn’t!
Very true! Many ppl are not happy when others succeed. Unfortunately there is a lot of jealousy out there and we only have a handful of ppl we can truly trust! Well put Olivia!
We do, and its very sad that sometimes people just aren’t happy for us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I love this! So true. I try to stay as low key as I can and just love my family and close friends! I don’t find it fun to open up to tons of people, you never know what their reactions or opinions will be. Thanks for sharing
So very true, people are very unpredictable aren’t they!
recipes for life
A lot has been happening on social media, and I think a handfull of people out there know nothing about this blog.
Living a quiet, private life is the best life to live. Thank you so much for sharing this blog ❤️
I understand a lot of the points you make from a ‘that makes total sense’ objective point of view….but honestly – I swing the entire opposite way on my blog 😳🤭 There is no balance in me that way – it’s a door open policy that works for me.
Some things work differently for others don’t they! I commend you for being so open and honest on your blog!
Couldn’t have agreed more! So many people ask why I don’t post on social media often or generally share a lot of what I do online, and I always tell them that I need my privacy and for the reasons you mentioned above.
Its important I think as we are expected to share everything online all the time!
Excellent points. I cannot believe what some people publish in one form or another. Some of us do online what we would never do in person.
Ashish - Proxywords
Great list of valid points. The social media is a great and wider platform. You can always increase your reach and audience, but at the same time it’s also important to not post everything you carry out on the social media. Restriction to ourselves is the key. Thanks for sharing! ❤️
You’re so right, we must keep a level of privacy at all times. Regardless of whether you blog or use social media for work or fun!
Ashish - Proxywords
So true! ❤️❤️
Great posts. ❤
Thank you so much!
This is something I also learnt the hard way. At the end of the day, there are people that want to share every part of their life, even which restaurant they went to on Facebook, Snapchat etc, and that is their choice. However, I am like you in that I tend to keep the things that are private to me to myself and only tell people that I know will support me no matter what. Trusting people too easily with things that are private to you can work against you!
Its sad really, because you would think people would want to celebrate your wins, but unfortunately not everyone is like that! Its just one of those things!
This is quite an insightful post! I don’t use a lot of social media but I definitely see your point in keeping one’s private life, private. It makes a person more confident to explore more when they’re private rather than when they’re always in the spotlight.
So very true! Being in the spotlight must be so exhausting!
I’m very private with people in my real life. I share a lot of personal stuff on my blog, but only one person I actually know is aware of it. I have a lot of unsupportive people around me that don’t need to know about any of it.
Its a shame because I feel that way sometimes too. Its crazy how we can feel comfortable sharing things about us with strangers but not those that we know. I hope you find yourself in a situation in the future where you have genuine, supportive and caring people around you.
Hmmmm this is an interesting one! I agree with you 100% on this, there are just too many people out there who are waiting for an opportunity to mess up with the people they don’t like! Nobody has time to deal with such drama
So true, its like they’re waiting for their prey. Best to keep those people miles away from you!
It is so cool that you talk about it (yes, I am binge reading your content since lockdown has started again in France lol). Personally, I have stopped using social media altogether (outside from Pinterest which I use for my blog). As someone who also lives in a small town, I agree with you: privacy is priceless!
We are in lockdown here in the UK too, so I feel your pain!
Small towns are the worst for gossiping!
agreed! being a blogger/writer it is really important to keep your public and private life separate. I also owns an Instagram writeup account and I was anonymous for 2 years to have the freedom to post anything I like to post as a writer. since no body knew my identity no body judged me on a personal level.
I find alot of people do that. Im similar in the way that I don’t really show my face on my blog and if I do its once in a while. I want my work to be at the forefront. This isn’t about me!
This is so true!!
So glad you enjoyed this!
Grape jelly 265
Great advice! Definitely consider it.
Thanks so much!
The Brandon and Luke Show
As an introvert person, I always like to make things private especially on social media. Like my blog, I use oen name rather than the real one because I always fear on the risks of being public online
There are many risks with sharing things online. I am the same, except I don’t mind using my real name. I just don’t share alot of information about myself on my blog!
I agree 👍🏾…. Look at Beyoncé, we still don’t know much about her life. She only shares what she wants us to know. I live by this.
Plus you don’t know if deep down the person actually wants what is best for you. So be careful with who you trust and give your energy to.
For real! Thats the best way to live life in my opinion!
Thank you – definitely something to think about!
Thanks for reading!
The Words Kraft
Agreed. When you share your honeymoon bedroom pics through a curated photoshoot and post those onto your social media account, you are simply opening up gates for public speculations and dirt. The thin line between what’s “social” and what’s “private” is so unclear to a majority of us. Social media fanatism has made us absolutely brainless.
Right! I couldn’t have said it better!
I love this post I think you made some really great points. I’m a open person and at times I don’t mind sharing what I have going on with other people. However I hate when people give me their opinion and try to project , so I’m learning to just be quiet about a lot of things. This post was confirmation. Thank you !!!
Projecting is the worst trait. I hope you are able to steer clear of people like that!
I agree so much with your post. I did the same thing, I created a separate Instagram for my blog and made my personal private. I also deleted ppl from Fb that I don’t talk to on a regular basis. In a world ruled by social media and everything is public it is SO important to keep your life private! I realised I had a lot of fb “friends” that were just fb stalkers if that makes sense, and people that I did not want to share my personal info with, such as holiday pics, etc. You are completely right. 👍🏽
Yes, I did that too with my own personal instagram. I removed anybody I didnt know or didnt speak to. Removed around 500 people. Shocking really! But better for privacy and safety!
Definitely! It is a scary world sometimes! x
Keeping a private life is the best thing one can ever do. In life (I learnt this from a friend who passed away he was always posting on social media about how happy he was but to my surprise he committed suicide) A lot of people who post about their happiness on social media are actually the depressed ones
So very true. Alot of people like to put on this show that their lives are perfect and they are so happy, but its not true. Its all a front sadly
Yeah a lot of people are living fake lives that are simply making them more and more unhappier by the day
ie the need to feel significant amoung other people
Thank you Olivia, exactly right🎯
Thanks for reading!
It isn’t negative at all. I feel all u said is correct. Couldn’t have agreed more!
This is soooo true I have recently learnt this lesson coming into my 30s I wish it had of been a realisation earlier in life well written
I think the important part here is that you learnt it! And its something you can do going forward in life!
Hey Olivia! I just have to say thank you for this read. I live in a very small town and I have always kept to myself. Your article isn’t negative because it kinda help me realize sometimes not to 100% keep to myself.
Small towns really are the worst for snooping in peoples business aren’t they?!
Very true Olivia.. I do separate personal and professional accounts🙌🏼
Hehe. I am SO different to all of this. When I was younger all of this used to annoy me SO much. Every little part of it. But I am finding as I get older the less erm.. hoots? I tend to give 🙂