I really dislike confrontation, but I never let that get in the way of standing up for myself when I need to. It’s taken me a while to not let anxiety and self-doubt stop me from sticking up for myself and showing others that I won’t be walked over. I see it so often. Timid people being treated poorly, or spoken to with disrespect and them not having the courage to say anything back or stand up for themselves. I guess thats where my empathy comes in. If I know someone won’t do that for themselves, I often step in if I feel the need to. Nobody is getting taking advantage of, not on my watch.
When I say that its important to stand up for yourself, I don’t mean fighting or being rude and disrespectful. I mean putting your point across. Not letting others intimidate you or back you into a corner. I don’t advocate for being disrespectful to people or rude. The only time I will stand up for myself and be assertive is if I feel like thats how they are being with me. I’m very much a person who goes off someone else’s vibe towards me. It can be hard to keep your cool in those kind of situations. But, it’s important that you remember who you are.
I’ve had many instances already during my blogging journey where I have had to stand up for myself. Otherwise I would have been taken advantage of. I like to think people in the blogging community are genuine and real. But often there are times when a bad apple slips through the cracks. For todays post, I will be sharing some reasons why standing up for yourself is good, and how it can be beneficial to your life!
YOU BECOME STRONGER BECAUSE OF IT
Whenever I have successfully battled my own corner and expressed my feelings, I always come away from the situation feeling stronger. Confrontation and being met with a barrier can initiate the fight or flight in some people. If you would have asked me years ago if I was a fight or flight kind of person I would have said flight for sure. Its so much easier to run away from bad situations and bury your head in the sand. But what is that going to do? It won’t make you grow as a person and become stronger because of it.
Really you have to force yourself to fight in those situations – metaphorically of course.
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BOUNDARIES GET SET
An important thing to remember here is that standing up for yourself doesn’t always have to be aggressive and confrontational. Standing up for yourself could look like setting clear boundaries with people. There is more than one way to stick up for yourself in situations. Boundaries is something that I have only recently learnt to implement into my life. It can be hard sometimes to set them with the people you love. But ultimately, it’s important that we do it for us.
Boundaries are great things to set with people. If you have a boundary that you don’t want to talk about something, or take part in a particular activity. That is a boundary and that is you taking control of yourself and your own mental wellbeing. That is you sticking up for yourself.
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Do you feel like you stand up for yourself? Do you struggle with setting boundaries with people? Let me know in the comments!
Standing up for yourself is something that might take time to practice, especially if you need to unlearn old behaviours. But you can do it!
Olivia x
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Very inspirational write-up… and I agree 100% with the concept… I have recently started to take stand for myself and it feels like a whole new person is struggling to come out of me now..it feels so liberating 😇
Thanks so much for reading!
I hate confrontation too. When I was younger, I’d let so many things slip by because I didn’t want to confront the person. But yeah standing up for yourself definitely helps one set healthy boundaries and avoids putting oneself in uncomfortable situations. It also helps you be strong enough to cut off toxic people who do no good to you.
I think as we get older, we all learn to stand up for ourselves. I feel like because we were younger people felt like they could get away with it. Which is bad really
Yeah… you’re right
I have always been the “scaredy-cat” my whole life. I have never been able to express myself or explain things to people. I think it’s a fear that I would be pushing people away, that I won’t have friends, or I wouldn’t be accepted. But I do know the importance of standing up for yourself. It’s just something I need to work on.
All you can do is work on it honestly. Maybe its a target for you to get to!
True
I’ve never been good with confrontation and I don’t remember standing up for myself. I always just end up joking about it instead of facing conflicts it could bring when i speak up. I wanted a peaceful life and environment so I always avoid as much as possible the drama about confrontation but i know deep inside it’s not just i want a peaceful life but I’m just scared to deal with it and I hate the thought that people will start looking at me and judge me. I’m not used to have the spotlight in me, as much as possible, i wanted to be invincible. but I hope I could finally speak up and confront people in the future without thinking of other people’s opinions and gossips after.
I hope you work on this and you can finally feel like you have a voice 🙂
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If you don’t stand up for yourself, people will not walk around you but over you, and most people won’t stand up for you if you don’t stand up for your self,
YEP!
You have grown strong over the years by experience and through observation!
A great post, It is a pity that people take advantage of timid people. If somebody is stepping on your toes, the best thing to do is to fight back. My people here would say: “You don’t know that a goat can bite until push him to the wall.”
Very much right Chris. I used to be a calm and introverted people. Some people thought of taking advantages. I let it go till some time, but then I started getting more assertive and it really helped.
Thanks so much for reading!
So true! Boundaries being set and being stronger is so important! It’s weird I usually tend to stand up for my friends a lot more then myself but I definitely need to improve! Great post!
Thanks friend!
I don’t know how to stand up for myself 😅 I kind of just walk away and the issue goes away
Sometimes it does when you walk away, sometimes it doesn’t! But we all have our own way of dealing with things!
I feel stronger when I stand with myself.
Me too!
Something i am getting better at as i get older but only until recently have i had the confidence to stick up for myself. I went through my teens trying to please people and let them walk all over me but now I am much better at making it clear what my boundaries are
I think thats a common theme here, I think alot of us did that when we were younger too
I used to tune into Radio 4 and listen to Prime Minister’s Questions and other as interesting political debates and found myself to be much less in control of my emotions, than those individuals facing the actual questions. I used to marvel at their composure and often wondered why a fight hadn’t been aired live.
Never mind that “Here, here” malarkey, as I remonstrated with myself, take that bish-bash-bosh and how dare you sir, thud-stomp-squish as my pillow disintegrated under a barrage of well aimed kicks.
But you are positively correct about not physically retaliating. To do so, would make that an instant dismissal. It’s all about maintaining control whilst recognising your own true worth. Composure and keeping your dignity are strengths and should never be squandered on frivolous inconsequentials.
Good day to you Sir/Madam enjoy your day whilst not necessarily defusing the situation, does nevertheless broaden one’s smile as you purposely and positively stride away.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Martin!
Lovely post and so true. The reality is if you do not stand up for yourself on one else will. It’s important to say what you feel to express yourself no everyone may support or agree but it’s your voice and you entitled to be heard it’s your right. Trying to instill this in my daughter she came home yesterday saying this little boy said to her she must not play with another girl because his sister is feeling left out so she must break up with her friend to make his sister happy they 8 years old and even though this is a small matter I am super proud of how she handled it she was sad and cried but she said she spoke to the little girl and understood why she wanted her to break up with her friend, the little girl was feeling left out. My daughter also told the little boy that he must stay away from her as he makes her sad and when his ready to be a good friend he can come and play with them. She handled it well by getting to the route of the problem coming up with a solution and removing the trouble maker. #superproudmom🌼
Wow, what a brave and lovely little girl you have. You should be so proud. She handled that in the best way she could 🤎
Thank you🌼🤗
Standing up for yourself is part of doing the work to grow and gain confidence in who we are. I’m not a fan of that one, but it’s too important to let that get in the way. Great post💕
Thanks Kathy!
I was quite timid until I turned 31 to be precise. I started standing up for myself as life brought in more challenges and toxic people. Yeah, it’s not easy and then you can’t have everyone like you. But it feels good to support yourself 🙂
It feels the best to support yourself. Someone said in a comment, you have to stand up for yourself because nobody is going to do it for you!
Nice
This is very important and lovely, it’s a post that shouldn’t be truly appreciated because a lot of individuals need to know this
I agree, they should!
I’ve read in many books “the art of sayings NO”. How to say No in certain situations. Once you learn the most important person you care about is you, you can easily master this skill. Thanks for the article ❤️
I have a post about that topic too. Thats also very important.
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I learned this the hard way coming from the Philippines and migrating to the US. In the Philippines, being meek and quiet is considered a virtue. This ideal is also bolstered by our soap operas where the poor heroine just weeps silently while being mistreated by everybody. When I came to work in the US, I worked with a bunch of people who bullied newcomers, especially minorities. Mostly put-downs, innuendos, refusing to help, etc. I didn’t speak up with words, but I worked my butt off to learn the ropes and be one of the best out there. In time, nobody bullied me anymore. But the bullying of other people continued. I never participated but I didn’t speak up either. Then I came across this quote “If you’re not actively standing up for what’s right, then you’re part of the problem.” From that time on, I started to speak up. It started with “Hey, guys, come on…” to a more assertive “I disagree. I think …” It was hard at first but once I did it, it felt liberating. It was like I wasn’t just standing up for them but for the newbie me who was too timid to say anything.
Great post for discussion ❤️
Wow you are amazing. I am sure it took alot of bravery to start being like that. You’re so right. Being quiet when you know something bad is going on, it just as bad as being the person who is doing the bad thing. Well done for standing up for others and for yourself!
Wow
Like Robert Frost says in his poem ” good fences make good neighbours”, boundaries are important even among loved ones. I had also found confrontation very painful,but slowly with age learnt to stand up for myself. Else people would just tread on us. Not everyone but those who wants to be a menace for others. Inspirational post dear.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Yes, standing up for ourselves makes us stronger… it’s very true…though very tought at the beginning but once the journey begins, there is no chance to step back..
It’s good to stand up for yourself, the only thing that can get toxic is when the other person made you think that what you’re feeling is wrong, that you standing up for yourself is wrong, makes you question your ownself, but I learned this that we eventually have to let those people go, so that we both will leave a peaceful life! 🙂
Really nice wordings btw love itt!!
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Wow this has helped me no end thank you!! I have a problem setting boundaries. Xx
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This is outstanding and well spoken with facts. We must take a stand and show no fear of being honest about your beliefs whether it’s popular or not.
I love that I ran into this article because last month I realized my whole life I’ve been letting people walk all over me I always let stuff pass but when I realized it I started to think to myself how much I hate that I’ve been stepped on my whole life and never really stood up for myself until like 4 days ago I went to Target and some women crashed into my cart but on purpose so hard the cart ended up hitting the wall I literally was looking at my cart right next to me like what the? Mind you there was people all around me so there was witnesses. Then I hear the lady screaming from the aisle my cart was in saying oh i don’t care whose cart it was whether it was a workers or someone else’s the cart shouldn’t have been in the middle of the f-ing way cursing and repeating herself over and over and honestly I probably would’ve let her pass if she only said it once and didn’t repeat herself cause you never know she coulda just been having a really bad day but as she kept going I’m like oh hell nah you know what I’m done I literally just finished talking to myself about this the other day I’m not letting people step all over me anymore so I went to the aisle and told her “are you good? Are you ok? Like what’s wrong why you had to push my cart to the other side of the aisle like that like I heard everything you was saying and my cart was definitely not in the middle of the aisle I vividly remember parking my cart to the side like I usually do so people can pass. There’s no reason for you to be bumping into peoples carts especially that exaggerated like people leave they’re carts in the middle of the way all the time for me and do I push it all the way across the store no I simply move it the side if they not there and even if it were a workers cart that’s even more f’d up because these workers literally be here all day working so people like you can shop comfortably like tf” stood practically shut after that then I realized she had a stroller behind her I felt actually really bad after that cause her kid didn’t need to witness that I wish I would’ve noticed before I said anything but honestly you shouldn’t even be acting that way in front of your child either like your child learns from everything you do (I also have little ones myself). But I guess pretty proud of myself for finally standing up for myself for once sorry for the story thought I’d share my recent experience 😭
All I can say is wow🙄
Thank you for penning this down. Indeed standing up for oneself is important to help one become strong and disciplined. I’ve been struggling with this for a long time because I let other people’s opinion determine what’s right or wrong.
Love this post! Thank you for sharing.
❤
This post has come to me at the right time. My biggest weakness is i can’t argue- or stand up for myself. Ever.
I’m the person who gets belittled and thinks about what I could have potentially said after a conflict when it’s too late.
That’s the empath in me. I hate myself for it
Ive started on boundaries- but even that has been a struggle- not because I found it hard- but because nobody takes me seriously enough.
I’m trying, and will continue to strive.
Thanks for your post
You got this girl! You can do it!
There is an assumption it there that setting boundaries is in and of itself confrontational. Thank you for pointing out it doesn’t have to be that way! Will improve the world.
The topic ” The importance of standing up for yourself” initially got my eyes glued to this article. I have to say this one of the best post ever Olivia
I’ve mastered the art of standing up for myself because of this article💯💯
Thank you so much! I am so glad you enjoyed it!
Such a beautiful one! Would love to apply this in my life! 😄