One of the number one things we must all learn to do in life, is how make yourself a priority. If you’re anything like me, I always want to make sure those I love around me are okay before myself. Being an empathetic person can really have its down falls in this area. Often I subconsciously take on other peoples hurt and pain and there have even been times where I have made their hurt my own. This is a bad example of how to not prioritise yourself.
Many people don’t completely understand it when someone mentions that they’re making themselves a priority for once. It can often be seen as being selfish. Of course there is a fine line between looking out for yourself, and looking out for others. A healthy balance can be achieved.
I wanted to write this post as a bit of advice for anybody who struggles to make themselves a priority in their life. It can be hard to do, but it is achievable.
One of the most important things we can all do in life is set healthy boundaries. Not only does this ensure that you are a priority in your life, but it can also protect your mental health too. I have a whole post about setting healthy boundaries, you can find it here. It has a list on how to do it and provides a few more tips too.
Prioritising yourself will look different from person to person. Because what I think is important to me, might not be to you. So you set your own boundaries where you see fit.
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PUT TIME ASIDE FOR SELF-CARE
Self-care is one of the best things you can do for you. Setting time aside each day to relax and look after your wellbeing is so important. Not only does it prioritise yourself, it also ensures that you are relaxed and content in order to help others too.
Get outside and go for a walk, put a face mask on or spend an hour away from your phone and read a book. Whatever makes you relax and makes you feel comfortable you do it. This will have such a positive impact on your mental health too.
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SAY NO WHEN YOU WANT TO
One of the very first blog posts I ever wrote on this blog was about the art of saying no to people. And I still stick by it 2 years later. We live in a world full of yes people. We don’t say no when we don’t feel like doing something in fear it will offend or upset somebody. Even if it’s at a detriment to us. This is your reminder to say no to people, often. If you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to do it. You are in control of your day to day. You have the power to do as you please. Remember that.
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This is a very important topic and one that isn’t talked about a lot. Loved this.
Thanks so much!
Curiosities, Castles and Coffee Shops
I agree with so much of what you’ve written. It is so important to look after ourselves. As you said, without doing this we really aren’t in a position to support and care for those we love. Sometimes the most difficult things are saying no and recognising when we have toxic people in our lives who actually cause us harm.
Saying no is one of the hardest things we can do, but the most important!
Sheila “Spiral Sister” Murrey
I agree with most of your observations and advice too, except for the first one: boundaries.
I just completed my metaphysical novel yesterday and it makes a couple of clear observations on the topic of boundaries.
First, observe a rainbow. The color frequency bands BLEND into each other; there’s no delineating hard lines or edges. Yet each color is distinct.
Second, boundary setting seems more about minding one’s Energy than segregating ourselves from others.
I love that you are digging into this subject!
It of course depends on your own circumstances. Boundaries can be linear, it just depends what it is. Prioritising your own mental wellbeing can be done in the form of setting boundaries. Thats what I love about this topic, its very open to other opinions and takes on the subject!
Love this post Olivia! I think an important think to note is that No is a full sentence – and crucial in order to prioritise ourselves. Thanks for writing this! ☺️
from personal experience, i’ve noticed controlling people will despise when boundaries are set & almost question why you are doing this. when in reality it just makes me want to set even more boundaries haha!
Its so true. Setting boundaries can go either way. People either respect them or they don’t. And if they don’t, it says alot about people!
It’s good topic , I always make me a priority.
I am so glad to hear that!
My Rollercoaster Journey
Great post! I often oscillate between being selfish and selfless, while landing in the healthy in between every once in a while